The following four core guidelines are essential for successful Catholic Men’s Fellowship meetings.
Confidentiality
Fellowship meetings foster the disclosure of some events that men would not otherwise share freely. Maintaining the privacy of such revelations is a vital principle of the meetings. Men may discuss some weakness or failure in the expectation that through the reciprocal sharing he will find help in coping with his difficulties.
A seal like that of the confessional secrecy that binds the priest in the Sacrament of Reconciliation should apply to the content of all meetings:
What’s said in the group, stays in the group.
A Safe Place
A fellowship meeting has elements of a prayer group, a Bible study, and a self-help meeting, as well as moments of praise and worship. However, its most important characteristic is sharing. A suitable physical and spiritual environment is necessary to encourage the healing that comes from sharing. The environment should be relaxed, and all should feel equal.
Whenever possible, the men should meet seated in a circle. An empty chair symbolizing the presence of Jesus Christ should be placed in the center of the meeting space.
The meeting conversation should be non-judgmental. There can be no discrimination with respect to economic circumstance, religion, ethnic origin, or race. All men are welcome!
Meetings should occur at regular intervals. Meetings twice a month seem to work well. That interval gives sufficient time for new experiences to develop and to share without the need for re-acquaintance at the start of each meeting.
No “Gurus”
Leadership is required in order to conduct a successful meeting. A minimum of one person must have the responsibility to guide the meeting in the manner of the Fellowship. However, the leader is not responsible for instructing the group on proper Christian behavior, Catholic doctrine, or dogma. That is the commission of the priests and duly-ordained ministers. The leader does not impart his knowledge or wisdom to the assembled men – that is the role of the Holy Spirit. A guiding principle of the fellowship is:
The sharing is the teaching, and the teaching is the sharing.
No Debating
There is no room for debating in a fellowship meeting. It invariably leads to dissention. Responding immediately to a disclosure by one of the group with a recommended course of action is discouraged. “Ought-to” statements should be avoided. The response to a plea for help is to express sympathy and compassion. The leader should elicit stories of a similar vein that might be helpful in the circumstances. In cases of obvious distress, the leader should take time out to pray specifically for the healing of the individual concerned. After the meeting the leader may suggest that the individual seek professional counseling, if appropriate.